Rude online dating
These women find something potentially valuable about me, and many of them clearly work as hard on their approach messages as I do on mine, trying to appeal to something in my profile that struck them, working to connect the dots and sell me on the idea that they’re really worth my while.
However, it’s always good to back up hypotheses with facts, and that’s what Jon Millward did with this experiment, posted on his eponymous blog.Online dating may be a jungle, but it’s a jungle with a LOT of single people, so it’s best to learn how to master the process.As a woman, your takeaway is that while you may get frustrated at the lack of quality responses, put yourself in a man’s shoes.• The two most attractive women received 83% of all messages.• The two most attractive women probably would have received several thousand more if their inboxes hadn’t have reached maximum capacity.Ignoring someone – someone who is paying you a huge compliment, in fact – is just flat-out What the hell – was I raised in a barn, she’d ask?
And yet, here I am, convinced beyond just about any doubt that what we’d call rudeness in our face to face dealings is a far kinder way of behaving in the online world.
• It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman’s inbox to fill up.
At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his. Well, you’ve seen this a few times before:“Most men compliment the attractive women a lot, they make reference to something in the woman’s profile (you would not believe how many times men mentioned the party tricks and ‘Arrow’ the cheetah from the generic profile I wrote), or they ask a general question about travel or something equally boring.” What SHOULD he write instead?
If you’ve been frustrated with your online dating experience, click here and I’ll help you change your tune.
In “real life,” when someone approaches and asks you out, you’re obliged by social custom to reply. How can I be mean to someone who thinks I deserve that kind of effort?
I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.