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I just urge people to find some healthier perspective on the whole thing.A private client told me just this weekend that she’s quitting online dating after three bad dates in a row.
This is both good for those of us able to display interesting attractive personalities through the site but also bad because it makes it more difficult to stick out amongst the rest of the mackerels.Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of disappointment in the men on the site.And for the most part, these men are making a lot of the common mistakes that I've mentioned repeatedly on this very blog.Turn on the TV and it’s not about kittens being saved from trees, but drive-by shootings.That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of kittens saved from trees.And as you get into your mid-30’s, the bar scene is really old and set-ups have become a bit of a joke. But because it creates opportunity where previously there was none. My best friend in New York is marrying a man she met on e Harmony. My sister’s best friend is in love with a man she met on e Harmony. So as I see it, you have two choices: quit online dating and make a supreme effort to go to as many parties, coffee shops and adult education classes as possible OR try to find a way to avoid the worst of the online daters.
While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.
They move on with their lives, while everyone else complains about the sites and the awful people on the sites.
I don’t deny ANYBODY the negative experiences that they’ve had.
Here is what I wrote back to her: First of all, I’ve had EVERY bad dating experience you can possibly imagine.
I’ve had women write me nasty emails, insult me over the phone, ignore my phone calls, stand me up, refuse to thank me for dinner, refuse to reciprocate in bed… And yet I still run around as this super dating advocate, because I believe it is the best prospect to find someone special.
Friends of both genders tell that their experiences have been hard in different ways.