How to overcome fear of dating after divorce
So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome. If one held a belief that one was not really smart or capable enough, that belief is made all the worse by the divorce and one comes to fear their future. Not knowing, not having all the answers is a simple fact of our existence.They believe that there is no possibility that they could heal their deep wounds and move forward with life. We must accept the fact that we don’t have to have all the answers and that we cannot predict our future.
So for instance, think back to the example of the child and their fear of water. Live in the present versus a hypothetical future that does not exist. Learn to turn off that negative mind chatter that keeps telling you to be afraid and stay where you are; the ‘gremlin’ or little demon in your head that tells you everything that you should fear and all the things that you cannot do or be or have; the voice that exists in everyone’s mind. Become more aware of your underlying fears that are stopping you from moving forward in life. In closing, I must share with you what is probably the most famous quotation about facing your fears from Franklin Delano Roosevelt: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. It is the fear that gets in the way of our personal fulfillment, joy and meaning. Remember that fear is just a feeling and not a fact.The operative here is possible: anything is possible.Things can go in many directions and we simply do not know what will occur. Think of all the things that you have conquered, accomplished and done right in your lifetime. Surviving a difficult childhood, raising a family, earning a living, juggling ten things at once, handling loss…the list can go on and on and on.Our personal demons rise up and fear starts to run the show. All we can do is rise up and create a vision of what we would like our future to look like and then take the action steps to get there. The fact remains: the only thing or person that we can control is ourselves.We cannot control the future but we certainly can plan for it.But crawling into a safe little hole and letting the world pass you by is not the solution. Who will ever want to be in a relationship with me? It is the unknown that overwhelms us, not having the answers, not being in control of our lives.
Moving forward and facing your fears is what will allow you to really live life to the fullest. Look, here’s the thing about the future: nobody knows what is going to happen.
Here are a few pointers on how to overcome our fears during and after our divorce:1) Fear is a clue that we are stretching ourselves and entering new waters.
We can use fear as a sign that we are on the verge of something new and different and most importantly, something that will help us to evolve into a better human being.
Taking time to heal from a broken heart, re-discover your true self, face your fears, and stop spinning from your divorce are important parts in the healing process.
You can’t just fill the void with a new partner; if you do the wounds from the recent divorce are sure to pop up down the road.
The Decision to Re-enter the Dating World Once you’ve decided that its time to date again, there are a few tips to keep in mind as you begin this journey.