How to handle intimidating people
When you realize this, it makes it easier to be assertive.4.Find the lesson.“Ironically, you can learn a lot about boundaries from [these individuals] because they are skilled at getting what they want,” Farris said.
Some suggest that bullying victims simply are people who “can’t take the pressure” at work.Such tools will help ensure that the transgressor will stop their actions out of fear of corporate reprisal.“The dilemma of workplace bullying is often made worse by the feeling that nothing can be done to alleviate it,” says Shane, “but that’s not true.“A large number of the references we check are in response to workplace bullying,” says Shane.“People feel traumatized and helpless in the face of mistreatment.Not so, says Jeff Shane, vice president of Allison & Taylor Reference Checking.
“Bullying has become an unpleasant fact of life in too many workplace environments.
Central to the issue is the fact that management or supervisors are the most common offenders, and their bullying actions leave the recipient in a difficult employment position.
Since many bullies are operating in accordance with a company’s “standard practices,” victims often speculate that they may deserve the criticisms, or they are simply too embarrassed, reluctant or fearful to confront the harasser.
That is, we can change our perception of the person, so we no longer feel intimidated by them. Today, we’re talking about other tools you can use.
Because that’s the great thing about being assertive: It’s a skill we can learn and practice. Dealing with intimidating people can shake our confidence and trigger self-doubt, said psychotherapist Michelle Farris, LMFT.
“[T]hey may not see that their behavior creates emotional distancing in their relationships — unless someone speaks up.”So how do you speak up? According to Farris, let the person “talk — but not dominate — the conversation, and validate what you hear.” For instance, you might say: “I can see how you feel that way,” or “What I hear you saying is …” If they feel heard, they might relax a bit, she said.