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There’s also a reason that we don’t write many songs about which husband can build you the bigger house. I told her the story that I’ve just told you, and I told her that the worst thing she can do is to keep trying to sit on a fence between them.
I watched the love I wanted and needed get washed away because of my indecision.Eventually, she realized that I was never going to love her and she realized that I was always going to love the other woman, so my back-up plan walked out of my life later that year. But I lost them both — simply because I wasn’t willing to make the tough choice that I had to make.When I talked with Ashley Saturday, I gave her two pieces of advice. If you’re sure you love one of them, choose him over the other one, even if the other choice is more stable and seems like more of a “sure thing.” There’s a reason that most of our songs in life are about intense love, lost love and being desperate for real emotional connection.As Ashley told me her story, I flashed back to July of 2008.I’ve mentioned a bit of this story before, but I’m going to tell you a very intense part that I’ve never had reason to tell before. I was in love with the one I was dating at the time, but I was scared of some things I saw in her (and things I saw in myself, too, even if I wasn’t honest enough with myself at the time to see it that way).There was another woman who I’d had a very odd relationship with before I let myself meet and date the first woman.
The second woman was something of a “project.” Her life had been a mess when I met her, and I had invested a tremendous amount of time in “rescuing” her.
In the spring and early summer of 2008, the first woman and I had talked a lot of marriage.
I had some legitimate fears about things in her that I didn’t understand at the time, but I knew I loved her and wanted her.
I knew she was going to be hurt, but I had no idea what the night was going to be like.
I felt terrible telling her that I was going to marry someone else.
With one guy, she feels the magical connection that most of us want to feel and that a few of us have felt in a very real way. What’s more, she feels that he needs her far more than she needs him.