Ex dating someone else
So do most people, except that The Twilight Saga books have sold over 116 million copies worldwide and a non-zero percentage of those readers think that Love Means Breaking Into Your House and Watching You While You Sleep.This guy has somehow tapped into your friend’s idea of what love should feel like.
Or else the fortitude to watch him marry this creep. I mean – He can’t hang, and he doesn’t treat my friend well.”) That gives the partner ammunition to say “Jorge has never liked me, why would you keep hanging out with someone who is so hostile to the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with?” Then the next time your friend sees you he’s on the defensive, and if you say anything bad about the partner you’re just reinforcing the badness. PLEASE VISIT THE DEPARTMENT OF BREAKING UP ON YOUR WAY OUT AND FILL OUT THIS COMMENT CARD ABOUT BREAKING UP.But something about this guy’s controlling ways feels good to your friend.I’m going to assume that you’re a grounded, healthy, regular person.So when someone says “You’re the only person who really understands me” to you on the second date, you panic.
So do I….except for when I was completely high on being intertwined with who I thought was the First Person To Really Get Me, Too, and then had to spend a year of my life in Love’s Methadone Clinic.
What a therapist does is ask you leading questions and radiate non-judgement until you’ve talked your way through all your own defenses and circular bullshit and tried to turn things into entertaining anecdotes and try to convince yourself that “it’s not that bad” until you run out of excuses and you have to say the truth: What you want. That seems crazy counter-intuitive and I can feel those words turning to ashes in your mouth, but this is why I suggest them: Controlling people make their victims second-guess everything.
When you’re involved with a Darth Vader from beginning to end it’s a story of “I can’t believe this is really happening! In which case, you don’t have to go to their wedding.
I’ve never done heroin, but if it felt anything like the first few months of falling in love with this guy I totally understand why people do it, to the point that when he broke up with me I didn’t sigh with relief and run screaming in the other direction. My point is this: This relationship is filling some need that your friend has.
It may be a need from The Dark and Sexy Side of the Force, so it may be something that your friend can’t or doesn’t want to explain.
I tell you all of this because: I think of myself as an intelligent and level-headed person, but I still got swept away. If you can understand that you can forgive him for it. You can’t talk someone out of being in love with Darth Vader, and sadly, the worse it gets the more your friend might try to talk himself into trying to make it work because if there is a happy ending all the ways he’s had to abase himself to stay in the relationship will have been “worth it.” You tried that, it didn’t work. If this guy is really a bad person or even just a bad fit for your friend, then sadly even the best-case scenario involves pain for your friend.