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Datingclub co uk

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"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor? " Cop: "Bigger." "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it? Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five. "I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." If you would like to be added, just copy and paste the following HTML code into your desired webpage code. We will will then add your related link & description to our retirement jokes site and acknowledge with-out delay.

I'm so sorry, but he's dead." I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your retirement, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. " She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge retirement cake… Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all shouting " Happy retirement!"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver. "Ageing Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband.The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54-year-old body can no longer supply.However, I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.At the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading this, I will be at the Ritz Carleton with Michael, my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, also is 18.

As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

However, he asked, "What brand would you like, Madam? " protests the driver, wishing that he'd never gone to work that morning.

" The old lady smiled and replied, "I don't care what brand you give me, as long as it fits a Camel."A driver meets Pope Benedict XVI at the airport. " "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today." "I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

ast the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."rhythm. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along."An elderly couple was attending a church service, about halfway through she leans over and says, " I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?