There are other options that are much better: -friend that knows about your situation -family member -therapist -AA/NA or other support groups -posting on SR -volunteering -professional relationships with co-workers Now I have not heard of this "no dating for a year" rule before so I don't have anything to say about who invented it or whether it is truly part of AA or not.I think there is some wisdom to this rule/suggestion no matter where it came from, but I would not take the "one year" part literally, that's just my opinion.
But it does ignore the fact that life still happens, and can't be ignored on the basis that one is in one's first year of recovery. At the same time, though, I think that getting into a NEW relationship is probably not the best idea in the first year or so after one quits an addiction...even longer.But dating is an event that you choose for yourself, not one forced on you like losing a job, death/illness of a loved one, etc.Why would you want to make things harder for yourself deliberately?In fact, as someone who quit drinking a long time ago, my own "rule" when dating was not to date a formerly addicted person unless that person had been comfortably abstinent for at least five years.Someone's gotta be the first to say it, so I guess it might as well be me: AA doesn't have a rule about dating. I've been in and out of the program for quite a while.
I personally never agreed with some of the rules and suggestions.
Looking back, I was sort of following that rule, but I should have done it much sooner.
I think it depends on the person and how you are doing in your recovery.
You can't possibly know ALL of the suggestions as they are only another person's opinions. All this "rule" means is that you need some time to figure yourself out (the new, sober you) before you take on the added challenge of a new relationship.
Of course life still goes on, you may suffer from unexpected events and tragedies and have to deal with them.
Not dating within the first year is mentioned nowhere in the big book. Keep in mind that most recovering alcoholics are pretty messed up emotionally in early recovery, so whoever you are dating is getting a real an of worms. As a matter of common sense, I would counsel most any alcoholic to not pursue romatic relationships for at least year.