Dating the highly intellectual
Not all, but many men are only comfortable when they can have the last word.These alpha types might seek to avoid partners who compete with them intellectually, looking instead for someone to bolster their ego, rather than destroy it.
John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House, a model for comprehensive relationship health.”When my husband and I were dating, we noticed that some of our best conversations came about when we were discussing a mutual intellectual interest—in our case, documentary movies.Some might say that I’m one of those women who put off men with my achievements, of which I’m really proud: I’ve published books on the theory of consciousness and the future of the brain.I’ve authored some 200 research papers on Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and novel mechanisms underlying brain function.Whether it’s reading together or something grander, such as saving to travel to a new place each year, research says that it takes at least sixty-six days for something to become a habit.That means you have to give your new intellectual habit at least two months in order to have it really take root in your relationship.I’m the founder of a bio-tech company that researches new approaches to neurodegenerative disorders.
As well as the Legion d’Honneur, a CBE and honorary fellowship of the Royal College of Physicians, I have 32 honorary degrees – all of which I’m really proud.
Even though your goals may be very different, they should be on the same scale.
For example, if your significant other is pursuing a Ph. in history and can’t get his conversation out of the Middle Ages whereas you are just trying to finish the series, you might have a red flag.
If you can’t find a point of intellectual connection, it may be a sign that you weren’t that compatible to begin with.
Once you find your shared intellectual interest, create a routine around it so that it doesn’t fall by the wayside after a week or two.
When the Hollywood actor married human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, he made all the right noises: “It’s good to surround yourself with anyone who is smarter than you,” he said, “and for me the bar’s pretty low, anyway.