‘It’s just weird.’ Of course, that meant within a couple of years I was going out with a guy who was significantly shorter than me (six inches when I’m in heels, to be exact). While surveys like this are as bullshit as relationship dealbreakers – my boyfriend is crap at most domestic activities, and who knows if he’ll divorce loads or not – I’m glad that science has stopped crapping on short dudes. What do you mean, short guys can actually make good boyfriends? Afterwards, when he came off stage and nipped outside for a cigarette, my mate said, ‘Awww, he’s so small! I’d forgotten up until then, because, as you’d expect, the height difference doesn’t really make any real difference at all. The questions are usually along the lines of, ‘What does it feel like?’ (The same as if he were taller.) ‘Do you wear heels? ’ (No.) ‘God, I couldn’t do that.’ (Is that a question?
When people say, ‘Oh God, I could never do that,’ I want to tell them that there are so many worse things a boyfriend could be. He also once forcibly pushed a dude out of a bar for feeling my arse. When you’re both drunk and he’s at boob height, a short man will keep falling in between your boobs when he’s too drunk to stand up.Partly because you’re tall enough to support him, and partly because it’s an excuse to put his face in your tits.I don’t know how to respond to that.) Now, I don’t usually mind, but occasionally I get quite pissed off and snappy.His mate, for instance, once came onto me by highlighting my boyfriend’s height and talking about how he himself would go to the gym all the time and happened to be 6ft. I think the phrase, ‘You’re a c**t’ was also used, by me.When he is sad, he curls up next to me in a ball with his head on my chest and it’s the cutest thing ever.
He’s never asked me to get things from the top shelf because he can’t reach, nor do I need to take off my shoes to give him a snog. Just like he is a public schoolboy posho and a film addict and can make a nigh-on arousing homemade guacamole.
I’m slightly beanpole-esque and my boyfriend is built like a tank (a nice tank.
One that looks good in boxers and gives good hugs), which means that when I can’t stand up, he can bulldoze through crowds while supporting my weight.
When I went to take my shoes off to kiss him on his birthday last year, he said, ' No! I feel like Tom Cruise in the late ’90s.’ What’s syndrome-y about that?
It doesn’t even enter my conscious mind anymore – apart from when my editor says, ‘Let’s find someone who has a shorter boyfriend than them to extol their virtues,’ of course. How To Spot A Mummy's Boy And What To Do If You Suspect Your Boyfriend Is One Ask An Adult: How Do You Get Over A Broken Heart?
READ MORE: ' Men Can't Help What They're Attracted To' - Why Men Prefer That Extra Inch Of Female Flesh In The Summer Perhaps the questions and comments are a patriarchal hangover from a time when men were expected to lift girls onto horses and joust for their honour.