Dating a korean american girl
Yeah, it'd be great if there were more available black men for upwardly mobile black women, but I'm not going to rake some sista over the coals for dating out. And we live in Korea – the numbers say that if you're a non-Korean man, the dating pool is incomparably larger than the few random foreigners around here, who are part of the same, largely transitory group.
And she was mad jealous when my old friend from the States came to Korea to visit, and since I've spent many a late night on her couch back in Oakland – as a such a completely platonic friend that thoughts otherwise would be like sleeping with a blood sister – that it went without saying that she would be able to stay in the other room in my apartment on a mattress. I tried to explain to her about these differences in background and socialization, that men and women could be platonic friends, and for example, that my university had nearly all-coed dorms and even bathrooms, that it was completely normal for people to have male-female roommates in apartments, and in larger housing situations it was often preferable to having 4 dudes fighting over whether Miller "tastes great" or is actually "less filling" in their pigsty together, or 4 women fighting about who drank her yogurt while their menstrual cycles all started to synchronize.Since I've laid down the ground rules for this discussion as being "prejudicial attacks that are not real discussion" and that such comments will be zapped as fast as they come in, don't be silly and cry "censorship" because I'm not the state, nor a large corporation who owns a media outlet, nor the school principal stifling criticism of one's alma mater. Right now, I feel I'm set up to talk about what is actually not much of a thorny issue, but the real meat and potatoes of some of the problems people often have here when dating Korean women. It's about to get thick with the scent of international intrigue up in here! "CULTURE" In my experience, and in the vicarious experiences I've had through the stories of many others, the main problem with dating Korean women as a non-Korean man is cultural. People still talk about "culture" as if it's written in the blood, written on the skin, or written on one's passport.Feel free to open your own blog on how much interracial dating is problematic, or the white men are stealing all the women in Korea, or how "problematic" whites dating Asians in the US is. I talk about dating Korean women because I haven't gone the other way around, since I'm a) not a woman, and b) don't date men. So, obviously, being "non-Korean" in the way that I see it can include many Korean Americans who have been been born, raised, and educated in the US.A lot of women who are now in their 30's attended all-girls middle schools, all-girls high schools, and even in co-ed universities, experienced student life in a very gender-separated and controlled.Things are a lot more relaxed for people in their early 20's these days, and young people freely interact much more now at an earlier age; a mere 15 years ago, the sight of couples in high school uniforms would have caused a minor sensation; now, they're so common, people barely even think twice about it. Often, men and women still feel comfortable amongst fellow men and women, respectively, and Koreans still spend a lot of time interacting with the opposite sex as either overt romantic partners (the ubiquitous meeting, sogaeting, and other "tings" are as common as they ever were) or platonic acquaintances, as in schoolmates, fellow employees, or the guy who you often share the elevator with – but not as close friends who can share an intimate emotional world without being intimate romantically. I dated a nurse in the early 2000's who worked in a plastic surgery clinic who had gone to all-girls schools all her life before nursing school and then working in various small clinics and hospitals. Female friends all her life and men as romantic partners only.After all, it's pretty simple: unless you are an omniscient being who can read minds, know the hidden circumstances and motivations of others, and have a clairvoyant grasp of things that take place without you there, you're going on supposition and pre-judging. The only difference is that with an interracial couple, one aspect of their relationship veers from the norm and is displayed from the skin.
And yeah, on American college campuses, there are a lot of nice, Jewish boys names Seth who seem to tend to date Helen Kim or Susie Lee; my hunch is that in the 2000's, there's at least as much to be said for the facts of demographics and socio-economic similiarities as there is for the "Susie Wong" fantasy; even that chimera is so outdated and 80's. And in the end, I've never seen the emotion of "disgust" at seeing interracial couples come from anything rational or noble.
And I've known Korean American men who simply find Korean women endlessly boring – in their estimation – and generally only date other Asian American or other American women. So, the way I see it, the main differences that crop up between American men (and other cultures that happen to be similar to the cultural patterns that are of interest to us here) and Korean women have to do with socialization, i.e.
your experience set and what you're used to, which goes into how you define the world, and how you view the exact same set of circumstances, say, in a relationship. Let's get started breaking this down, and with the knowledge that these are generalizations made for the sake of discussion, as well out of the fact that these issues keep cropping up again and again in the problems I myself have had in my relationships with Korean women, as well as with many, many, myriad, multiple guy stories I've hard from other people in similar relationships.
And white men in particular in Asia enjoy a temporary boost to whatever actual sexual capital they possessed at home.
That's life, and to try to act otherwise just makes us the asshole acting on supposition.
I think anyone who says, "I am looking for my life-long mate here," would find themselves wangttaed as fast as people could politely make excuses to not get picked to sit across from that guy.