Cocky and funny dating
and both are capable of reaping the rewards that come with rebuilding both.Part of the reason I stuck in the relationship I mentioned was a simple matter of low confidence; I had more than convinced myself that I was lucky to have this relationship at fault if it does – you will often find yourself knuckling under rather than drawing a line and saying “No.
This is going to be a tricky section because what I’m about to say is going to sound an awful lot like victim-blaming, which is not my intent. People who have poor boundaries and low self-esteem are typically easy prey for abusers.No further.” The lack of belief in yourself feeds into an insidious self-perpetuating cycle.It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you believe that you have very little of value to offer in the first place – something that is reinforced by the way that people walk over you and take advantage of you.This can be intimidating, especially when you’re not the most secure person to begin with.A major reason why I put up with being treated so badly in my relationships was because I was conflict averse; I didn’t have a strong foundation to work from and dreaded any fight for fear of causing more drama which would inevitably be my fault and lead to further fights down the line.The other frequent cause for poor boundaries is an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s own actions.
Taking a stand – saying that you will not tolerate or put up with certain attitudes or behavior – means being willing to accept the responsibility of that choice and thus shouldering the consequences.
One good friend of mine had a husband who would continually badger her into being willing to participate in threesomes with various female friends.
Every time she would refuse he would “punish” her, either berating her for her lack of consideration for his needs, belittling her appearance and attitudes, or just becoming increasingly passive-aggressive.
I had few boundaries to speak of and even less self-esteem…
and I was willing to consider this treatment a fair price for being in a relationship. In fact, many people who are socially inexperienced – geeks and nerds especially – will have encountered all of these and more over the course of their relationships… Many will assume that these are just par for the course when it comes to relationships – platonic, romantic, or familial.
He was consistently testing her boundaries, trying to find some way to get her to sacrifice her values in an attempt to please him; her way that people will take advantage of poor boundaries.