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Alpha male online dating profile

alpha male online dating profile-32

The picture was taken from the computer and has the whole Zoolander thing.

alpha male online dating profile-25

Think what you want.] [Edit: No, it hasn't been established that he's better in bed. Why would you rely on hearsay and anecdotal evidence? The Dodger knows I can reduce any female body to a shuddering, trembling, back-arching, convulsing, Dodger-clawing mound of warm, sweaty, surrendering flesh -- even without the tantra techniques I picked up from all those slimeball e-books I read in between late-night porno sessions.]I've found a better way of living. I've had 0 luck with my profile but didn't know how I could beef it up. There's a kernel of truth in everything I say (except when I'm lying). I am comfortable in my own skin (but I usually wear clothes). The last guy who sent you a message is a chump who secretly dresses in drag. After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it. And I should warn you that even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want to kiss me passionately or slap me silly. I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every woman on this site. (Look, the bitches are constantly asking me about this, so I'll say it once and once only: The guy in first place lives in Paris, writes poetry, and tames white tigers. I think the asshat is a complete douche, a girly-man, but if that's your thing, then good luck to you. I may be the last guy on earth who isn't a chump, or doesn't secretly dress in drag. I'm currently supplementing my childhood indoctrination with a serious study and review of the Bible. And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. This year I am wrapping up 2 bachelor's degrees and preparing for grad school, provided that I don't bounce to Buenos Aires for steaks and tengo lessons instead. I'll stick it out with the right one, and that may lead to amazing possibilities. I'll give it a woman's name because lets be honest, that's what you should be doing! Then off to the mall where we will roll a dollar around a piece of poop, place it in public, then yell POOP DOLLAR! Finally, a karate match between us where I will DECIMATE you with my epic karate chop! I have great success on POF and have tried tons of different profiles.

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. So there you are: 20 incredible, indelible, articulate, and compelling reasons to contact ME. At last we have come to the goodnight kiss, which I have already stolen from you earlier in the date because lets be honest, goodnight kisses at the end of a date... I'm hazy on the to/not do profiles on this website etc.

Now, rather than refer to 30 years' worth of research found in academic journals on social psychology and behaviour modification, I'll just sit here all smug and shit and point out that if you read my profile and don't message or reply to the Dodger, it's because you're some combination of train wreck, stupid, insecure, and boring. Since the Dodger is aware that the vast majority of women on online-dating sites are meet-nobody attention whores who are here for only ego-propping, validation, and therapy (that includes YOU until proven otherwise, sugar lips! However, I come from a modest, if not relatively rough, background, so I don't go for a lot of bourgeosie BS.

), I have only one small request: DO NOT MESSAGE THE DODGER OR REPLY TO THE DODGER IF YOU SUCKY DUCKY WHEN IT COMES TO A BATTLE OF WITS. Unlike these other idiots, I know how to use spell shecker.

Anything said over email is going to appear much more harsh than if it was said in person, because you don't have the benefit of body language. It doesn't FIT on one screen, because it doesn't BELONG on one screen.

The girl can't see that you're saying this with a smirk on your face like you don't really mean it so it just comes out as cocky/funny. I had to skip the gym because they're coming in like all hands on deck. I've carefully constructed my profile along psychological principles to weed out women whom most men don't want, and the result has been that I've been meeting some really incredible women who are genuinely attractive, intelligent, confident, and playful.

Shoot me a message, and if it seems we'd get along in some capacity, we'll go out there, make an awful lot of noise, and rock the fuck out. I've had very good success with and other sites but maybe the population on OKCupid is a little different and I'm in a new geography.