Adoptee dating adoptee
I continued to search, but I hated the way I was feeling. After many minutes and a dissecting the store in search of HIM I finally laid eyes on Him. By this time my mind was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Knowing he would never leave me in the grocery was at a parallel ends of the spectrum of how I was feeling at that moment.
I wanted Him to hug me tight and tell me he’s never gonna abandon me or leave me in the grocery store or ever for that matter, OR I wanted to go crawl in my bed and pull the covers up and never come out again. I had to just pretend that this episode didn’t happen and I didn’t share with him my feelings about it because I thought it would be just too much for anyone to take in.This searching FEAR is the exact same way I felt in the grocery when I felt like I was I’ve always been triggered by feeling lost, and I definitely associate this to adoption. I mean today, September 7, 2017 I know where my birth mother is. I no longer search for her but these episodes sparked by FEAR of being abandoned and rejected, LEFT & LOST take me back to the unresolved emotional wounds that are under the surface from being an adoptee.If I can’t find my car parked coming out of the grocery store and I have to walk all over looking for it, I feel lost and I start to panic inside and get tears in my eyes. The feeling of your mother abandoning you and never coming back, ever. I want to tell my guy, but I don’t want to burden him or anyone else with my issues so I have shared it here instead.As we’ve gotten to know one another over the last few months, I have shared a little of my adoption experience with Him.He’s listened and taken in what I have shared, but he doesn’t seem to have much to say in response which seems to be the norm for most non-adoptees. Usually one has to be able to relate to an extent so a conversation dialog is created and there the conversation goes.I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to write about this but it’s been on my mind pretty heavy so I decided to get it off my chest.
I’m also curious if any of my fellow adoptees have experienced anything similar? I’ve been single for many years, I’ve raised my kids as a single mom.
O_O One of the main things is I made sure in the beginning I let him know how important communication is to me because areas of UNKNOWN are a area of FEAR for me.
Maybe I didn’t say “Communicate with me at all times because if you don’t I start to freak out inside and my mind goes haywire and I need you to communicate with me! But chances are I said similar, but in a nicer way that said “Hey, communication is important to me so please communicate with me as much as possible”.
In all honesty I haven’t shared all the dynamics of what it’s like to date an adopted person, me specifically.
I have only shared with him a few details and some of the things on my list of “Special Needs”.
Do you have any idea how daunting it is to explain to someone all your adoptee issues?