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The final point I would like to make is that, according to many of those who wrote to me, the world of internet dating is not so different from dating in real life.
Women, you need to obey Rule Three: Use a Good Photo.People are immensely complex and relationships take time, which is why I recommended that Keith does his internet searching in tandem with a greater effort to get out more.Perseverance means getting out there in the cold, uncomfortable world, not just crouching in front of a computer and dreaming."Some amusing email chat eventually led to a few dates. I'm now five years into a relationship with one of those 'dates', and long may it continue.I would urge anyone who is lonely to give internet dating a try." Women like men who make them laugh.Until you meet, you have no way of knowing whether there is any hope of romance between you." Successful internet daters obey Rule Seven: Meet Again.
Unless you hate each other on sight, try to behave as you might in real life, where getting to know somebody takes time.
I've been looking hard at the profiles of women on dating websites and conclude that many of them seek qualities that I don't have.
But I still find it difficult to identify quite what is so off-putting about me. Thanks to the many readers who have written in to share their experiences, from the awful to the ecstatic, I now have lots of ways to make your internet dating experiment more fun and less emotionally hazardous.
Which makes sense of Rule Five: Meet As Soon As Possible - after you've started corresponding.
Meeting puts an end to the fantasy, which is good, and protects against Rule Six: Beware of Transference.
It is a turn-off online, just as it is in real life, to come across as inarticulate, needy and lonely. As Steve says: "Don't build up your hopes and don't bank on finding romance.